Develop An Ideal Relationship

 What is the basis of an ideal relationship ?

An ideal relationship between any two individuals is based on the respect .

If there is respect in the relationship then that relationship stands on a strong foundation.

HOW WE CHANGED THE MEANING OF RELATIONSHIP
In the due course of time we have changed the meaning of the relationship because  now a relationship is more about getting,
It is more about

• How the other person is with me 
• How he behaves with me 
• How he speaks with me
• How much he love me

And we calculate what I get from him.

HOW THE RELATIONSHIP MUST BE
But  actually the relationship must be other way round it should be like

• how much I give to the other person.

That means in a relationship we should not think how he relates to me but we should focus on how i relate to him.
HOW DOES A RELATIONSHIP FORM
A relationship doesn't form through the physical perspective  but the relationship is created internally in the consciousness
It doesn't depend on the physical actions and words it is purely internal.

The relationship once created in the consciousness then how I behave with you,how I talk with you will be only the reflection of the image I created in my consciousness.

A RELATIONSHIP IS ACTUALLY BASED ON YOUR THINKING
A relationship doesn't say who you are and what type of person you are but its about

• what kind of person I think you are, 
• it always  says  about my thinking ,

For example if a person A has a very good chemistry with B .
If B is a very good person then he should be properly connected with  all the people in the society but that doesn't happen .
Because A develops a good image in the mind about   B as a very good person so there is a good relationship.

• So a relationship ship is based on my thinking about you
• If i establish a good thought about you i can have a good relationship with you other wise i can't

BUILDING AND BREAKING RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS UPON YOU
So here  the control is in your hands.
This makes you powerful.
It is in your hands either you can creat a relationship or simply you can destroy it.

Taking the control back in to your hands is success in your Life .

We have seen in the  earlier posts that in the case of anger ,hatred ,jealousy it is our choice to exhibit theses negative emotions .

It is in your hands about the quality and quantity of  emotions to be exhibited.

If we  want to be More happy we can,

• To be happy we are a  single step away, just choose  the thought of happiness .
• you can also choose for how much time to be in happiness.

If we want to feel more angry ,

• It is also a single step away from choosing the thought of anger, 
• we can even choose  for how much time we have to be in anger

We have seen that in all the above cases, we have not given power to others to control Your emotions
It is in Your hands this makes you powerful .

In the same way in order to built up a relationship it is in your hands , It depends on image developed by you in your mind about him.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIP IS PURELY INTERIOR
We felt that every emotion like anger, tension ,anxiety ,happiness  are attacked from outside and later developed an idea that they are initiated from inside .

• In the same way relationship develops are breaks not from outside but from inside .
• It is your creation.you can develop it or just break it, depends on you.

DEVELOP GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
If you want to maintain a good relationship with others the first thing you have to do is

• develop a good relationship with you

Yours relationship with others actually depends on what kind of relationship you are having with yourself.

INNER RELATIONSHIP EFFECTS OUTER RELATIONSHIP
If the relationship with you is disturbed it effects outer relationships.

If you are in conflict with yourself inside then you see conflicts in outer relationships.

If you are in harmony inside then you will be in harmony outside.
For this you have to develop stability inside

TAKE THE HELP OF MEDITATION
This can be achieved very easily with the help of meditation.

When you start doing the meditation ,

• internally you experience peace 
• beautiful relationship develops with you .
• Meditation makes you to connect yourself very beautifully

then the outer relationships will be developed automatically with out any struggle.
WHY STRESS DEVELOPS IN THE RELATIONSHIPS
In today's life

• we are struggling to maintain the relationships,
•  this struggle develops stress.
•  This stress  leads to conflicts.

The relationships are not natural.

They will not be natural until and unless your relationship with you is natural.

Meditation helps you a lot to develop a natural relationship with you.

CREATING IMAGES
In the relationships we actually creates two images of the person

• Before meeting the person we imagine the person to be something like this and we develop an image 
• After meeting the person when the relationship is going on we create another image according to our understanding about the person .

Now we are left with the two images.

TRYING TO MATCH THE IMAGES
What we will do after developing the images?
 we constantly try to match these two images with the behaviour of the person .
But actually the person may not fit in to neither of these two images.
Because the two images are our creation
These images are created according to our perspective towards that person.

TRYING TO CHANGE THE PERSON
We constantly try to change the person so that he matches with the images we created.
When we constantly try to change a person we cant really call it as respect .
When we are trying to change him we are saying him that I will respect you if you change according to me.

HOW TO BUILD AN IMAGE OF THE PERSON
When ever you are creating a image about a person it must be done very consciously in order to avoid future conflicts.
When ever you built the image of a person take his bad qualities also along with good qualities.
Then the bad qualities of that person will not bring conflict in the future .
In order to avoid conflicts you have to see the person in right perspective ,it depends on the purity of your consciousness.

NO DEBATE
If there is anything which you do not like in the opposite person don't debate on whether the person is right or wrong .

It can be solved very easily by discussion and bringing the change with his acceptance but not forcibly.

We can bring the change in the person by accepting him first

SEE THE PERSON THROUGH HIS STRENGTHS
As our mind in today's life always tends towards negativity ,
we  prepare the image of the person by only taking his weaknesses.

• We will ignore the hundreds of strengths of the person and only consider his weaknesses which brings the conflict  in the relationship.

If you want to build up a good relationship respect his strengths and work together on the weaknesses in you and in your partner.